Gordon "Stumpy" Cherrington has been dropped ahead of the Brockwell 49ers opening game. The vice captain was suspended indefinitely after making "upsetting" remarks about his better-looking, wittier and much, much cooler captain, Ed Hamilton.
On hearing the news, Stumpy called an immediate press conference where he went on to describe Hamilton as a "jumped up wee prick who cannae play for shite."
Mr Hamilton retaliated straightaway by stating "I know he's only little, but resorting to playground bullying is not what the Brockwell 49ers want from their vice captain."
In a seperate incident, Phil "White Chocolate" Evans was photographed coming out of a massage parlour at 3am with teammate Tom Partridge. Evans reacted calmly, saying "We just had a few drinks and fancied rounding off the evening with some kebabs."
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i have nothing to hide, it's all part of my intense fitness regime.
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