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After a mauling from cricketing minnows Huracan CC, the Brockwell 49ers coaching staff experiment with new tactic 'Shock and Overawe' at sister club Athletic Bilbao. A surprise call up to all 30 members of the 49ers squad, their friends, and their friends of friends has been made.
Tuesday 25 May 2010
Monday 12 April 2010
Brockwell 49ers announce first full squad of the season
With the 2010/11 season fast approaching, the Brockwell 49ers have announced their first squad for the opening fixture against Calypso CC on Saturday 8th May.
The team sheet includes many well known 49ers including Hamilton, Tonkinson, Heath, Partridge, Edwards, Dowdney and Cherrington as well as some of the tail end Charlies from last season such as Elliott (tipped by many to be a key man throughout the coming season), and the Prancing Pony, Adam Brichto (tipped by some for last Saturday's Grand National).
One major surprise for the 49ers this season is the inclusion of Andy 'The Fridge-magnet' Prince. Although an American, 'Fridge-magnet' looks set to shock the world of cricket this season with his unorthdox style of play.
Speaking at a recent hot dog eating competition in Grosevnor Square, 'Fridge-magnet' said:
"Listen y'all. During W'ya W'ya Deuce, my granddaddy decided it was time to help you goddamn European sacks of coyote crap to sort out your own back yard. He swam across the pond with some buddies, surfed over the English Ocean, caught some rays on Omaha beach and partied in Paris with some French honeys before kicking in the goddamn door of the Rhineland, shooting Hitler between the eyes with a Colt .45, eating a suaerkraut sandwich, downing a Becks, planting the star and stripes in Goebels asshole and declaring the war in Europa over.
I spent last year hearing about these Brockwell 49ers and they sounded like a bunch of goddamn fairies. So, just like my grandaddy, I've decided to show this bunch of limey bastards just how we do it in the land of freedom"
Slamming another 15 hot dogs into his mouth, 'Fridge-magnet' addressed our very own cricketing correspondent
"What? What did you say boy? Have I played cracket before? Shit no ... but I watched it on a VCR and it looks like a piece of piss. I'll probably score three strikes, a touchdown and a 3-pointer in one game. And I tell you this much, I am literally going to rip their pitchers head of and shit down his throat. If any of those motherfuckers even dare to try and cross my game line, I will unleash an apolcalyptic storm from hell that will rain down on them and all of their family for eternity. Jesus H Chris.
I am here to win. Do you know why? 'Cause that's what America does bitch. We come, we conquer and we goddam fucking win. Oorah"
The team sheet includes many well known 49ers including Hamilton, Tonkinson, Heath, Partridge, Edwards, Dowdney and Cherrington as well as some of the tail end Charlies from last season such as Elliott (tipped by many to be a key man throughout the coming season), and the Prancing Pony, Adam Brichto (tipped by some for last Saturday's Grand National).
One major surprise for the 49ers this season is the inclusion of Andy 'The Fridge-magnet' Prince. Although an American, 'Fridge-magnet' looks set to shock the world of cricket this season with his unorthdox style of play.
Speaking at a recent hot dog eating competition in Grosevnor Square, 'Fridge-magnet' said:
"Listen y'all. During W'ya W'ya Deuce, my granddaddy decided it was time to help you goddamn European sacks of coyote crap to sort out your own back yard. He swam across the pond with some buddies, surfed over the English Ocean, caught some rays on Omaha beach and partied in Paris with some French honeys before kicking in the goddamn door of the Rhineland, shooting Hitler between the eyes with a Colt .45, eating a suaerkraut sandwich, downing a Becks, planting the star and stripes in Goebels asshole and declaring the war in Europa over.
I spent last year hearing about these Brockwell 49ers and they sounded like a bunch of goddamn fairies. So, just like my grandaddy, I've decided to show this bunch of limey bastards just how we do it in the land of freedom"
Slamming another 15 hot dogs into his mouth, 'Fridge-magnet' addressed our very own cricketing correspondent
"What? What did you say boy? Have I played cracket before? Shit no ... but I watched it on a VCR and it looks like a piece of piss. I'll probably score three strikes, a touchdown and a 3-pointer in one game. And I tell you this much, I am literally going to rip their pitchers head of and shit down his throat. If any of those motherfuckers even dare to try and cross my game line, I will unleash an apolcalyptic storm from hell that will rain down on them and all of their family for eternity. Jesus H Chris.
I am here to win. Do you know why? 'Cause that's what America does bitch. We come, we conquer and we goddam fucking win. Oorah"
Mr Prince kitted out for his first nets session last weekend.
Commenting on the recruitment of 'Fridge-magnet'. 49ers spokesman, James 'Smart bomb' Smart said:
"All of us at the 49ers welcome Andrew to the side. Since becoming a British national a number of months ago, Mr Prince has discarded his brash Amercian ways and become a true English gentleman. We are sure he will be a valuable edition to the side"
Thursday 4 March 2010
Friday 5 February 2010
EXCLUSIVE: Brockwell’s Scottish Correspondant to return home
Peripatetic 49er Graeme Elliott has today announced publicly he is quitting Scotland to be closer to his team-mates. In an exclusive interview he scotched rumours of him sleeping with a colleague’s girlfriend and chose to focus on what he hopes will be a career defining summer with Brockwell.
“That affair shit is a load of bollocks,” Elliott said “I wouldn’t have touched her with yours, let alone knock her up – do you think I’m made of money?”.
“Now’s a time to focus on my cricket, OK. I’m fully committed to Brockwell and moving to London is in no way connected to my alleged deportation” he continued.
“The club took a chance on me last year, despite only playing one warm-up match. But they resurrected my fortunes in France and it seemed only right I should repay that faith in me by returning home to commit my future to the club and my team-mates. 2010 is gonna be the 49ers year”
It’s understood that Brockwell Captain, Gordon ‘Stumpy’ Cherrington, is delighted with the move and looking forward to getting the team back into the nets soon. “I’m delighted with the move”, he said, by way of confirmation, “and I’m looking forward to getting the team in the nets soon.”
“That affair shit is a load of bollocks,” Elliott said “I wouldn’t have touched her with yours, let alone knock her up – do you think I’m made of money?”.
“Now’s a time to focus on my cricket, OK. I’m fully committed to Brockwell and moving to London is in no way connected to my alleged deportation” he continued.
“The club took a chance on me last year, despite only playing one warm-up match. But they resurrected my fortunes in France and it seemed only right I should repay that faith in me by returning home to commit my future to the club and my team-mates. 2010 is gonna be the 49ers year”
It’s understood that Brockwell Captain, Gordon ‘Stumpy’ Cherrington, is delighted with the move and looking forward to getting the team back into the nets soon. “I’m delighted with the move”, he said, by way of confirmation, “and I’m looking forward to getting the team in the nets soon.”
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