Stumpy disappears up own arse

Gordon Cherrington has mysteriously disappeared - and fellow 49ers believe the best place to start looking is up his own arsehole.

Alarms were raised when the 49ers captain - aka Stumpy - began writing blog posts referring to himself in the third person.

It is unknown just how deep the search will go, but Cherrington's housemate and friend, Ian Tonkinson, has already expressed concern over the organisation of search teams and their chances of finding anything relevant in Stumpy's butthole.

"The whole thing stinks!" Said Tonkinson, 49ers wicket keeper and chief sledger. "I wouldn't be surprised if they find a gerbil or two and the odd jar of marmite but Gordon? No chance. He's in too deep."

The search into Stumpy's battycrease continues.