Senior figures within the Brockwell 49ers are currently questioning the very purpose of the team’s weblog as a spat between between baby-faced captain Gordon Cherrington and baby-making ex-captain Ed Hamilton continued to mar the team's preparations.
Maverick batsman Nick Heath was unequivocal in his dismay at recent events. “Originally I thought the blog was a place for all the 49ers to come together and look at pictures of pretty ladies in their pants” Heath raged while rummaging furiously through his trouser pockets, “now it seems just the latest venue for Hammy and Stumpy to vent their hate speech. Bring back the bikini bitches!! Naaarrgghhhh!!!!” he climaxed.
Spin wizard and keen amateur Freudian psychiatrist James Smart was eager to express his own perverted diagnosis of the pair. “In a sport so rife with phallic objects these kind of alpha male competitions are inevitable” he mused in between puffs of an impossibly large cigar. Continuing in what can only be described as a bizarre sub-Allo Allo German accent, Smart observed that “vhile almost every other member of zer team has managed to sublimate zeez desires into zer ritual Hinterteileschlagen or bum slapping, Herr Cherrington und Herr Hamilton’s rivalry has developed into ein dangerous und sexy threat to zer thousand year Reich zat previously vos zer destiny for der Neunundvierzigers.”
In a refreshing change Hamilton and Cherrington were both unavailable for comment.
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You're all gay.
ReplyDeleteFrankie